Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Weekend Update # 18

So a couple of days early, but considering tomorrow's Holiday....

Let me first welcome Samuel to his first Thanksgiving. are in for a treat!

Well...the lack of teeth this year may get in your way, however there will be more.

At the very least you can gum at that delicious turkey, succulent stuff there buddy!

Maybe develop a taste for the cranberry....

Some meat from the thigh with the gravy...

Buttery rolls.

Or my favorite...the candied yams.

Regular candied yams.

No ginger. (Fish!)

Maybe some stuffing.

Stuffing...why do we even call it "stuffing"?

We no longer stuff the bird with it.

It's a side dish.

We shouldn't even call it stuffing anymore.

Poor stuffing.

Been relegated to the roll of a side dish. And in comparison, not even as important of a side dish like say.....candied yams.

Hell, I would imagine that the buttery rolls play a bigger ...uh...role in the meal than the now-defunct and quite sad "stuffing".

No longer a main dish, just a pile of moist bread crumbs with hints of sausage and essence of celery.

It's not even that attractive to look at.

Truly, it is now the step-child of Thanksgiving. And not a cute step child either. Just a serving dish of non-descript brown and specs of light greens.

And why?

Why did we go from the glory days of stuffing to this sad existence?

There was a time where family stuffing recipes were coveted. Wars were fought over stuffing recipes I am certain!

And now...nothing but a sad expectation that it must be there.

Like fruitcake.

The answer is...we were told to not stuff the turkey any longer. It was a food safety hazard.

"They" hammered it into our heads.

Hell I think there was even a School House Rock about it.

All in the name of safety.

That is why the once proud stuffing is no longer it's own namesake.

Forget that for 200 years Americans prepared and ate turkeys prepared with stuffing.

Sometimes I am surprised that the human race survived all of these years without knowing how dangerous our world is.

I must be truly one in a million.

Not only am I the winning sperm, but as a kid I used to ride my bike all over with no helmet, played with lawn darts, swam freely in the ocean, climbed trees, and on occasion...ran with scissors.

And the scissors we had when I was a kid were the full on razor sharp kind. Not the dull safety scissors we give our children these days.

Yet I am semi-normal and intact.

Of course the same "they" that have sold us on not stuffing a turkey are the same "they" that made it a law that the label on Peanut Butter must include the words " Contains Peanuts".

So I say fight the system!


Allow the stuffing to recapture it's glory days!

Stuff that bird!

Run with scissors!

Rip the label off of the peanut butter and just know in your heart that it contains peanuts!

Just remember to roast your turkey to an internal temperature of 185 degrees using a calibrated meat thermometer inserted into a meaty part of leg without touching bone.

Gobble gobble.


spider said...

happy thanksgiving!

Fish said...

I ordered an organic turkey and everyone poked fun at me...incessantly. I dislike Philly.